i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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