we have pet lesbian snakes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
