Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
