THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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