She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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