i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
