batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
