Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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