it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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