I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
