Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
