Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
