and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone came in the potted fern
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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