Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I smell stomach acid.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
