I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
