weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
