I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
