Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
