so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize