He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize