Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
