You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize