We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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