just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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