Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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