What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
