so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Randomize
