Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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