had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
