Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
