Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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