So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
