Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
