We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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