ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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