did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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