yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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