Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
