I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize