those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
