the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
