got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
