Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
