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• (626): View more from California

  Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  You told him you loved him!?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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• (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

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• (845): View more from New York

  you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n

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• (760): View more from California

  I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

  (951): View more from California

  Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.

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