2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
