So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
