im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
