so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize