I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
