Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Hey it's Austin.

(254): View more from Texas

I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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(360): View more from Washington

I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who is this?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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(315): View more from New York

as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training

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(951): View more from California

It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.

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(310): View more from California

I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.

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