I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
