I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
