If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize