At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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