Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
