I can text with my tongue
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your penis caused this!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
